Be the Boss of Your Kid’s Room
Or help them be the boss of it.
Every mom who has contacted me to help organize a child’s bedroom is completely overwhelmed with the state of their child’s room and embarrassed to show it to me. They open the door, prepared for me to gasp and run, and I think, “Meh. Looks like a normal kid’s room.”
Why do kids’ rooms get so messy?
There are a number of reasons kids rooms tend to be messy.
Their brains are not developed. They’re developing to be sure, but their sweet little frontal lobes are not fully developed, which can mean a lack of foresight and poor planning and organizational skills.
They don’t understand what “clean” means. I’m not joking. It’s easier for adults, who have been cleaning our spaces for literal decades, to have a baseline of what tidy or clean means, but many kids don’t understand that unless they are taught it. A child’s definition of clean may differ from a parent’s, so each family is going to have to determine what matters the most when it comes to the state of the child’s bedroom.
They are overwhelmed. “Clean your room!” can be a vague statement to a kid whose room is their sleeping space, their play space, their storage space, and their homework space. That’s a lot of activity happening in 144 square feet. Kids can be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff, by the amount of activity in their days, or by any number of other circumstances.
They are asserting their independence. While they share their home with the rest of the family, kids only “own” a small percentage of the space, and it’s natural that they may want to buck the family tidiness rules as a way to express their individuality.
They prefer the mess, or just don’t care. I believe most people function better in at least marginally tidy spaces, but there are people who thrive in clutter. That doesn’t mean you have to let them be slobs. As the parent, you get to make the house rules, but you also have the responsibility of walking alongside the kids as they learn to tend to their own things.
Where do we start?
The process for being the boss of your kid’s bedroom is the same as the process for being the boss of your bathroom, laundry room, and mudroom.
Pull Everything Out
Toss the Trash
Determine What Belongs
Clean
Organize
Discuss Priorities First
When you are organizing for and with other people, it’s important to lay out parameters or goals for the space before jumping in to declutter.
What activities should and shouldn’t happen here? Some families do all the toys and playing in the bedrooms and some families keep toys and games in a family room or play room.
What are our limitations? Kids are natural hoarders, but the lovely limitation of their four walls limits the amount of stuff they can keep.
What are the expectations for a baseline of tidy or clean in the space? Each family will need to set their own house rules here.
Pull Everything Out
Gather and sort everything in the room. It’s easiest to start by sorting and categorizing. Categories might include:
Clothes
Toys & Games
Hobbies & Art
Books
Keepsakes
Toss the Trash
Gain some decluttering momentum by throwing away actual trash.
Keep a box handy for clothes that are obviously too small, to save for a sibling or donate.
Be realistic about whether broken toys will actually be fixed.
Consider if the child is still interested in hobbies (they’re allowed to change their interests!) and get rid of half-finished projects or used-up supplies.
Determine What Belongs
It’s time to get a bit more granular.
Clothes: Keep only the clothes that currently fit. A box for too-small and a box in the next size are fine kept handy in the closet. There is no perfect number for how much of each items a kid should have, but from my own experience I wish I’d have gone more minimal with kids’ clothes from the start. Consider their lifestyle, activities, storage space, and your family’s laundry routine.
Toys & Games: If the toys and games will stay in the bedroom, keep only what they currently use, and their favorites.
Hobbies & Art: Similar to the toys, only keep hobby and craft items that the child is still interested in. Avoid clutter build-up by encouraging them to pass on supplies they won’t use.
Books: Let your child keep the books they love and those that will actually be read. Enable them to actually read in their room by making sure they have a comfy place to sit and appropriate light. Here’s a previous post about books if you want to deep dive that subject.
Keepsakes: I recommend keeping a clear bin of keepsake items, photos, and papers somewhere easily accessible, so the things you want to keep are easy saved. Cull the keepsake box occasionally.
Clean
This is a great time to get that overdue deep clean done.
Organize
The key for making a kids’ space maintainable is to make things easy to put away.
Open storage like this is great for kids’ toys and clothes because they can see where things belong and easily get them there.
Conventional clothes storage may not be best, depending on the child. Ditch the hangers if they’re too hard for the child to manage and end up on the floor anyway. Synthetic fabrics don’t fold well (and don’t wrinkle!), so it’s fine to just toss athletic clothes in a drawer or bin. Finding and putting away with ease are your top priorities with kids’ clothes! I encourage you to empower them to do this themselves as much as possible.
Books, toys, and hobby supplies you actually want the child to use need to be stored where they can easily find them and put them away. Consider open shelving and open bins, even if it might not look as pretty as Instagram.
Maintain
Once you get the room looking the way you can all agree on, teach the child that this is the ideal state of the room, and help them develop habits and routines to keep it that way.
Encourage a daily tidy – clothes in the hamper, toys and games put up in their open bins, stuffed animals to their homes.
Let your child start helping with their own laundry, in age- and ability-appropriate ways.
If they are overwhelmed when told to clean their rooms, give them categories instead. Try: “pick up all the dirty clothes.” “Gather all the trash and throw it away.” “Make a stack of your favorite art pieces and put the rest in recycling.” Clearer messaging will help those undeveloped frontal lobes figure out what to do.
Use these tips to help your child be the boss of their stuff.
Use these tips to help your child be the boss of their stuff.
If you’re still overwhelmed by your kid’s room, contact me for a free consultation by clicking on my picture!
